Kevin Cook, Austin, TX : HABITUAL LIAR, HAS MULTIPLE RELATIONSHIPS AT SAME TIME

WOMANIZER, NARCISSISTIC., HABITUAL LIAR , SEX ADDICT

Sociopaths sexual boundaries. Vague. Twisting. Bending. Illusion.
Seducing vampires.
Sociopaths sexuality is fluid.
Sociopaths play with anyone in their path.

https://www.truelovescam.com/sociopaths-sexual-boundaries/

  • Pornography.
  • Prostitution.
  • Masturbation or fantasy.
  • Sadistic or masochistic behavior.
  • Exhibition/Voyeurism.
  • Other excessive sexual pursuits.

KEVIN DOES ALL OF THE ABOVE

 

THE HARMFUL EFFECTS OF SEX ADDICTION FOR PEOPLE INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE LIKE KEVIN COOK

Sex addiction can lead to many negative repercussions. A person who has a relatively large number of compulsive sexual encounters might be at much greater risk of contracting an STD or putting him or herself in dangerous situations. The behaviors of those with a sex addiction often lead to problems in their primary relationships too. When partners discover the affairs and deceit, they naturally feel anger at the betrayal of trust. Many addicted people become so out of control that they suffer legal consequences for their sexual activities.

Additional problems arise related to sex addictions when they manifest as paraphilias, or a set of behaviors that causes you distress or impairment, may cause you harm, or place you at risk of harming yourself or others. ( PUTTING PEOPLE AT RISK WITH NO CARE ) . 

KEVIN WAS CAUGHT 8 HOURS AFTER BEING WITH ME, NO CONDOM WHEN I WALKED IN, NEVER USED THEM ,  FACT: DID NOT SHOWER THAT DAY, IN FACT MADE IT A POINT TO SAY HE LIKED HAVING ME ON HIM.  HE SUBJECTED ME AND EVERYONE INTENTIONALLY WITH FLUIDS FROM THE OTHERS.  WHEN HE WENT TO PORTLAND HE WAS AT MY HOUSE THURSDAY NIGHT, THEN HE WAS WITH (STEF) NO SHOWER.

SEE SITE

It is common for a person to have multiple paraphilic disorders.

What are the Signs, Symptoms, and Effects of a Sexual Addiction?

Sex addiction is a way some people compulsively medicate their feelings or life’s stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism. The individual often has lost the ability to choose whether they can or cannot do their sexual behaviors although they may be in denial about their loss of choice. They often cannot stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. Sex addicts spend a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior or fantasy. They may also have a binge of sexual behaviors. In many cases, the addict has not been able to stop their sexual behaviors regardless of the consequences, value systems, belief systems or faith systems. As one addict reported, “I didn’t let anything get in the way of my addiction- my wife, my kids, my friends, my job, my relationship with God. I pursued my secret life of addiction in spite of these things.” 

***************Sex addiction is not about having a high libido.************

 

Welcome To Heart Matters Counseling Services

Sex addiction is a way some people compulsively medicate their feelings or life’s stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism. The individual often has lost the ability to choose whether they can or cannot do their sexual behaviors although they may be in denial about their loss of choice. They often cannot stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. Sex addicts spend a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior or fantasy. They may also have a binge of sexual behaviors. In many cases, the addict has not been able to stop their sexual behaviors regardless of the consequences, value systems, belief systems or faith systems. As one addict reported, “I didn’t let anything get in the way of my addiction- my wife, my kids, my friends, my job, my relationship with God. I pursued my secret life of addiction in spite of these things.” Sex addicts can be both male and female. Sex addiction is not about having a high libido.  

 08/26/14 at 7:19 PM

 

Emotional Symptoms of Sex Addiction

You may feel alienated, isolated, depressed, angry, or humiliated and need treatment yourself. If you are addicted to sex, you might become easily involved with people sexually or emotionally regardless of how well you know them, according to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Because most sex addicts fear being abandoned, they might stay in relationships that aren’t healthy, or they may jump from relationship to relationship. When alone, they might feel empty or incomplete.

( KEVIN IS NEVER ALONE YOU ARE. BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR DEALING WITH.) AS HE SAID ” I WILL NEVER SPEND A WEEKEND ALONE!.” HOWEVER, THAT WAS ACTUALLY A THREAT, SINCE HE REFUSES TO SPEND WEEKENDS WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. SEE HIS SCHEDULE:

Physical Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Although a sex addiction or pornography addiction can create many physical side effects, few physical symptoms of this disorder exist. However, the most common physical sex addict symptoms you might notice from having a sexual addiction is feeling immobilized due to sexual or emotional obsessions.

Effects of Sex Addiction

The effects of a sex addiction can be severe.

  • According to Departmental Management of the USDA, about 38% of men and 45% of women with sex addictions have a venereal disease as a result of their behavior.  ( THANKS KEV)
  • It is important to know that addressing co-occurring problems in one’s life, like depression, social anxiety, or social isolation, can make it easier to recover from sexual addiction.

KEVIN HAS  SAID HE HIS VERY HAPPY WITH HIS LIFE, AND HOW COULD CARE LESS ABOUT SEEKING HELP AS HE NEVER HAS, STDS DO NOT BOTHER HIM HE HAS COME TO TERMS WITH HIS DECISIONS. HOWEVER FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO DO NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT HIM, WHEN YOU GET THEM GOOD LUCK, YOUR ON YOUR OWN / ONCE AGAIN SEE TEXT MESSAGES

 

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and other areas of their life, such as work or school.

If you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may feel a sense of entitlement — and when you don’t receive special treatment, you may become impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — for instance, the best car, athletic club or medical care.

At the same time, you have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation. To feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make yourself appear superior. Or you may feel depressed and moody because you fall short of perfection.

 

If you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may feel a sense of entitlement — and when you don’t receive special treatment, you may become impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — for instance, the best car, athletic club or medical care.

At the same time, you have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation. To feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make yourself appear superior. Or you may feel depressed and moody because you fall short of perfection.

OKAY – THIS SUMS UP WHAT I WAS PUT THROUGH!! 

 

Signs That You’ve Been Abused by a Narcissist

You Doubt Yourself

Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?  Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.  This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.  Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say.  This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist.  Their own unfelt core of shame.

Confusion

Just refer to the above explanation of self doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understand the CONFUSION that is part and parcel of narcissistic abuse.  Daily boundary transgression and criss crossing of responsibility starts to wear on even the clearest minded of targets.  Suddenly you wake up and realize that all the realities and borders between yourself and others is not only BLURRED but MISSING.  It’s confusing to KNOW that you aren’t responsible for someone else’s behavior, thinking and feeling but to be CONSTANTLY SCOLDED for behaving, thinking and feeling as if you ARE.  It’s crazy-making and a narcissist purposefully causes this confusion.  They know that a divided and conquered mind is their most vulnerable and susceptible target who won’t be able to identify that their confusion is caused by an abusive technique called ‘gas lighting’.  Gas lighting is a technique of psychological abuse used by narcissists to instill confusion and anxiety in their target to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgement.  With gas lighting, the target initially notices that something happens that is odd, but they don’t believe it.  The target attempts to fight the manipulation, but are confused further by being called names or told that they’re: ‘Just too sensitive’, “Crazy’, ‘Imagining things’, or the narcissist flat out DENIES ever saying anything hurtful.  Gradually, the target learns not to trust their own perceptions and begins doubting themselves.  Broken and unable to trust themselves, they isolate further.  The target now doubts everything about themselves;  their thoughts and opinions, their ideas and ideals.  They become dependent on the narcissist for their reality.  For it is in your CONFUSION and acceptance of responsibility that belongs to the narcissist, that a narcissist is able to successfully CONTROL YOU and USE YOU as a scapegoat for their problems.

Feeling Crazy

Every minute of every hour of every day of every year, a Narcissist, who has a DSM classifiable personality DISORDER (ie: not playing with a full deck) is PROJECTING their disorder onto those around them.  If you don’t think that having a crazy person constantly blaming you for being “crazy” will make you crazy, I’d like to introduce you to a narcissist that will convince you otherwise.  This disorder isn’t a relationship gone wrong.  This disorder isn’t kid stuff.  It’s MALEVOLENT.  It’s a transference of malevolence and MENTAL DISORDER from the person who has it to the person who DOESN’T.  Frankly, before a narcissist, I’ve not once in my life, FELT CRAZY.  Neither have I ever been told by a psychologist and I’ve seen lots of them – that I had anything WRONG with MY own MENTAL HEALTH.  Personally, I always had it “together”.  I was resilient, mentally tough, and withstood many events in my life that would make others crumble.  Yet, when I unwittingly dated someone with this serious mental health malady, I wanted to slam an entire set of broken porcelain down his throat sideways and every obtuse moron that believes the garbage that comes out of this mouth.  No, it’s not that I suddenly became a person interested in physical violence, I suddenly became a person who was witnessing a DSM category all wrapped up into a physical being – who turned his mental health problems ON me.  I became a target of a person with a problem.  They say, “Hurt people, HURT people”.  I say, “Narcissistic People DESTROY PEOPLE”.

Emerging Cluster of Symptoms That Have No Other Explanation

All I could muster to the narcissist in my dear john letter when I broke up with him that wonderful New Year’s Eve, was “I DON’T KNOW what’s WRONG!!  But I just don’t feel like myself.  Something feels EXTREMELY TOXIC and I don’t know why”….. .  This should be the alert when a victim of narcissistic abuse presents themselves to therapists.  The inexplicable “complaint”.  My first visit to my therapist were those words exactly.  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it’s SERIOUS!”  I felt it.  I did – I felt BEWILDERED inside, but I could not articulate what it was.  (another red flag for someone usually able to articulate every feeling and explanation about myself in-depth).  How was it that after 43 years of explaining, analyzing and discussing my own deficiencies quite well, I could NOT for the life of me explain to my therapist what was so “wrong” with me that it was palpable.  His answer, set me free, it really did.  “YOU HAVE BEEN IN A DOMESTICALLY VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST”.  My therapist has some background with this person.  He’d WITNESSED the narcissist calling me, berating me during sessions.  I held the phone away during one session, so that my therapist could hear the narcissist on the other end questioning me about cheating, “Accusing me of having an affair with the therapist”.  Grilling me about what the therapist looked like and would speak to me like.  He even accused the therapist of wanting me sexually and that was the reason the therapist spoke so lowly of the narcissist.  (of course it couldn’t just be that the narcissist had a bad reputation and the community was on to him).  Sufferers report that their spark has gone out and, even years later, find they just cannot get motivated about anything.  Unaware that we’ve been living in a war zone with a tyrannical narcissist, we can’t quite grasp the words to articulate the abuse, yet at the same time, we VERY MUCH FEEL IT.  We present ourselves to the mental health community, incapable of speaking about an abuse we yet know nothing about.  Until that word, “NARCISSISTIC ABUSE” is given to us, we have NO IDEA that is what’s causing our pain.  That’s why it’s SO IMPORTANT to get the word out there, what narcissists look like, their modus operandi, the words and phrases they use, so that when a victim of their abuse begins looking for answers, they quickly will be able to identify that they are involved with a narcissist.  In Narcissistic Victim Syndrome you are looking for a cluster of symptoms to emerge many are the symptoms of trauma (avoidance, loss of interest, feeling detached, sense of limited future, sleeping or eating difficulties and nightmares, irritability, hyper-vigilance, easily startled, flashbacks, hopelessness, psychosomatic illnesses, self-harming, thoughts of suicide, etc.).  Some victims develop Stockholm Syndrome and want to support, defend, and love the abuser despite what they have gone through.

Dissociation -( THIS WAS ME, SEE TEXTS, I WAS ASHAMED, AND DID NOT WANT TO BE AROUND ANYONE, BECAUSE EVERYONE JUDGES YOU NOT THE ABUSER!)

(THE ABUSER IS OUT DOING IT TO SOMEONE ELSE!)

Victims tend to ‘dissociate’ or detach from their emotions, body or surroundings.  Living in a war zone where all forms of power and control are used against you (intimidation; emotional, physical and mental abuse; isolation, economic abuse, sexual abuse, coercion, control, etc.), the threat of abuse is always present.  Dissociation is an automatic coping mechanism against overwhelming stress.  Symptoms of dissociation resulting from trauma may include depersonalization, (disconnecting your body awareness from your physical self) psychological numbing, disengaged from life and passions, or amnesia regarding the events of the abuse.  It has been hypothesized that dissociation may provide a temporarily effective defense mechanism in cases of severe trauma; however, in the long-tern, dissociation is associated with decreased psychological functioning and adjustment.  Other symptoms sometimes found along with dissociation in victims of traumatic abuse (often referred to as “sequelae to abuse”) include anxiety, PTSD, low self-esteem, somatization, depression, chronic pain, interpersonal dysfunction, substance abuse, self-mutilation and suicidal ideation or actions.  These symptoms may lead the victim to erroneously present the symptoms as the source of the problem.

PTSD  

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PTSD: National Center for PTSD

Most people who go through a traumatic event have some symptoms at the beginning but don’t develop PTSD.

There are four types of symptoms:

Reliving the event ( I HAD TO DO EMDR 2 YEARS LATER, I COULD NOT STOP THE IMAGAINE OF KEVIN HAVING SEX WITH PRIYA) , THAT IS WHAT HE PAID FOR MY THERAPY AND THE SEX ADDICT ADMISSION.  ALSO WHAT TOOK SO LONG ( I WAS STUCK THERE, NOT ABLE TO DEAL WITH EVERYDAY CRAZINESS BY HIM) BESIDES ASSHOLE, THEIR WAS MY BUSINEES,, SCHOOL, MY DOGS WHICH REALLY HELPED ME THROUGH THIS, FRIENDS ( WHICH i DID HIDE WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH)

Bad memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time. You may feel the same fear and horror you did when the event took place. You may feel like you’re going through the event again. This is called a flashback. Sometimes there is a trigger: a sound or sight that causes you to relive the event. Triggers might include:

  • Hearing a car backfire, which can bring back memories of gunfire and war for a combat veteran.
  • Seeing a car accident, which can remind a crash survivor of his or her own accident.
  • Seeing a news report of a sexual assault, which may bring back memories of assault for a woman who was raped.

You may try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. You may even avoid talking or thinking about the event.

  • A person who was in an earthquake may avoid watching television shows or movies in which there are earthquakes.
  • A person who was robbed at gunpoint while ordering at a hamburger drive-in may avoid fast-food restaurants.
  • Some people may keep very busy or avoid seeking help. This keeps them from having to think or talk about the event.
  • Avoiding situations that remind you of the event – WANTED KEVIN TO GET RID OF BED / HE NEVER DID IT KEPT ME FROM GOING TO HIS PLACE TO FIND OUT WTF HE WAS DOING! ADDITIONALLY,  I DID NOT WANT TO GO TO RESTAURANTS OR ANYTHING THAT REMINDED ME OF HER ( ANYTHING FROM HER ETHNIC BACKGROUND )!!  HE WOULD TAKE ME AND ACT LIKE IT WAS ALL IN THE PAST GET OVER IT, FUCKING MALICIOUS  SADISTIC BASTARD!

  • here are four types of symptoms of PTSD (en Español), but they may not be exactly the same for everyone. Each person experiences symptoms in their own way.

    1. Reliving the event (also called re-experiencing symptoms). You may have bad memories or nightmares. You even may feel like you’re going through the event again. This is called a flashback.
    2. Avoiding situations that remind you of the event. You may try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. You may even avoid talking or thinking about the event.
    3. Having more negative beliefs and feelings. The way you think about yourself and others may change because of the trauma. You may feel guilt or shame. Or, you may not be interested in activities you used to enjoy. You may feel that the world is dangerous and you can’t trust anyone. You might be numb, or find it hard to feel happy.
    4. Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal). You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. Or, you may have trouble concentrating or sleeping. You might suddenly get angry or irritable, startle easily, or act in unhealthy ways (like smoking, using drugs and alcohol, or driving recklessly.

    ems. These include:

    • Feelings of hopelessness, shame, or despair
    • Depression or
    • ANXIETY

    Kevin Cook <kevin2050@yahoo.com>

    11/9/14

    HERE HE ADMITS TO ME HAVING A PANIC ATTACK,, I HAD THEM FOR 2 YEARS BECAUSE OF HIM AND PRIYA. ALSO, BECAUSE HE KEPT INVADING MY LIFE, PROMISES HE NEVER ATTEMPTED TO KEEP. HERE HE ALSO BLAMES ME, AS I AM HAVING A PANIC ATTACK. I WOKE UP FROM ANOTHER NIGHTMARE OF HIM AND PRIYA. I WAS IN BED, CRYING MAKE IT STOP! I WENT IN THE SHOWER ,
    HE WAS GONE,
    HE LEFT! THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW KEVIN, UNTIL MONTHS LATER WHEN I CONFRONTED HIM I WANTED HIM TO SEE ME, LOOK AT ME AFTER HE GAVE ME STDS. BUT, HE COULD HAVE CARED LESS.
    ANGER ISSUES, I AM BY NATURE CALM AND KIND, ANGER NO  KEVIN’S OWNS THAT DEPARTMENT!  BLAMING ME SO HE COULD RUN TO FUCK OTHERS!
    to me

    All I want sometimes is to be in your arms.   I shouldn’t have left that morning and should have dealt with your panic attack differently.  I call it a panic attack because I think those are in fact something like one.  I think you are testing me to see if I leave at times too.  If I stick around you trust a little more and a little more but the anger issues I can not help instantly…pains of the heart take time.  I need to be understanding and you need to help too .   As for stds passing that isn’t something we should not have to deal with.  A normal couple shouldn’t have to but as you know we are not a normal couple and we go Long times in between relationships to process everything.   Whatever caused this I apologize if it came from me but there was no one I went to or go to after you.     My brain takes months to process things which isn’t normal either and I realize that.  It takes months for me to deal with my emotions and hurt, loss, etc.  I hear you will know its true love cause the other dives you so crazy and is in your thoughts all the time.  Well that is you even if we can’t ever work things out at least please know that and know I’m sorry for not knowing how to make it work.   Love is precious love is kind, love is thoughtful love is blind.

    I have been working on this email for over a month now and I need to send it.
    Two songs for you.  (  ONCE AGAIN HE SHOWS THE SADISTIC PART OF HIMSELF, I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU, WELL THAT SONG APPLIED TO WHAT HE DID TO ME, WHY HE SENT IT,, MIND FUCKING ME!
    SHAKIRA – EMPIRE
    SHE IS IN A WEDDING DRESS AND CHOOSES LUST OVER LOVE
    (HMM , WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE, HIS WAY OF ADDING A POUND OF A SALT TO MY PAIN)! THESE SONGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE ECT.
    IT MAY HAVE TAKEN HIM A MONTH, I THINK 30 SECONDS BY THE LACK OF EFFORT. BUT, HE IS ALWAYS BUSY DOING SOMEONE ELSE, SO I GUESS IT TOOK AWHILE.
    • Drinking or drug problems
    • Physical symptoms or chronic pain
    • Employment problems
    • Relationship problems, including divorce

    In many cases, treatments for PTSD will also help these other problems, because they are often related. The coping skills you learn in treatment can work for PTSD and these related problems.

    What treatments are available?

     

  • I BELIEVE THAT EMDR IS  NOT UTILIZED ENOUGH , PTSD VICTIMS NEED EMDR TO EVEN START THERAPY.  YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH THAT EVENT THAT CAUSED THAT PAIN AND FOR YOU TO BE STUCK  IN THAT MEMORY. BEFORE YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD . I ADVOCATE EMDR TO THE THERAPIST I WORK WITH.  I HAD TO TELL AND FIND A THERAPIST WHAT I NEEDED, I LEARNED NOT FROM THERAPY BUT FROM READING.  THE FIRST THING I TOLD MY THERAPIST FOR EMDR SHE WOULD SAY KNOW HE CARED, MY RESPONSE’ THAT WAS “THAT WAS THE LIE THAT GOT ME INTO THIS MESS” SHE FULLY UNDERSTOOD THIS WHEN  HE STARTED EMAILING ME WHILE I WAS IN THERAPY SHE COULD SEE HIS CRAZINESS AND HELPED ME HANDLE HIM.
    • A similar kind of therapy is called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which involves focusing on sounds or hand movements while you talk about the trauma. This helps your brain work through the traumatic memories.

Avoidance – of places, sounds, tastes, and songs that remind them of their abuser or the abuse.  Intense feelings of anxiety even in anticipation of having to revisit the memories.

Need for Solitude/Tendency to Isolate – We’re EXHAUSTED after narcissistic abuse.  Feelings of withdrawal and isolation are common; we just want to be in our won head for a while, find our own answers; thus, solitude is sought.

Lack of Joy and Hope – Inability to feel joy (anhedonia) and deadening of loving feelings towards others are commonly reported.  One fears never being able to feel love or trust again.  The target becomes very gloomy and senses a foreshortened future sometimes with justification.  May targets ultimately have severe psychiatric injury, severely impaired health and/or stress related illnesses.

Sleeplessness – Melatonin became my new best friend after narcissistic abuse.  The nightmares and night terrors can be overwhelming that good restorative sleep becomes impossible.  Napping became my new favorite passion.  Sleep becomes almost impossible, despite the constant fatigue; such sleep as is obtained tends to be unsatisfying, unrefreshing and non-restorative.  On waking, the person often feels more tired than when they went to bed.  Depressive feelings arrive very early in the morning, making falling back to sleep an impossibility.  Feelings of vulnerability and loneliness may be heightened overnight.

Anxiousness,  ( MIGRAINES ARE ALSO PART OF PTSD)

Fight or Flight Response – With your system on alert for ever-present danger in the environment it’s easy to react sensitively to sudden changes – causing the startle response.

 

 

What Causes an Addiction to Sex?

Sexual addiction, like porn addiction, can develop due to factors that encompass all aspects of an individual’s life. These include:

Biological:

  • Genes: You may have a genetic predisposition to emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, or sensation-seeking behavior. You may also have a predisposition to other traits that are commonly associated with sexual addiction, like anxiety or depression.
  • Psychological:
  • Environmental influences: Early-life environmental factors, including adverse events like abuse or exposure to sexual content ( KEVIN ENJOYS EXPOSES HIMSELF TO IT) , can contribute to some of the underlying characteristics that drive hypersexual behavior.
  • Mental health: Anxiety, depression, personality disorders, poor impulse control, and performance anxiety might be simultaneous issues that one struggles with alongside sex addiction. Those that have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, or have a tendency toward “manic” states, are much more likely to engage in excessive or risky sexual behavior.

Social:

  • Rejection in relationships and social circles can lead to other, less healthy ways to find sexual gratification.
  • Social isolation: Not only does social isolation increase one’s likelihood of seeking inappropriate ways of being sexually gratified, it also leads to a host of other problems–like depression and physical maladies–that can contribute to sex addictions or unhealthy sex behaviors.
  • Social learning: Watching others perform a behavior, or “modeling,” is one way to learn something new–especially when you “like” or “identify” with that person. So having a friend, or a group of friends, who engage in excessive sexual activities or porn viewing can influence you in a very subtle, yet powerful, way.

Can Sex Addiction Be Treated? NEVER MIND SEE TEXTS KEVIN VERY HAPPY WITH WHO HE IS 

Yes, sex addiction can be treated. You will typically want to speak with a mental health professional, like a psychologist or licensed social worker. They will help you address some of the underlying factors that are maintaining your sex or porn addiction, and teach you to cope with your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a healthy way.

Some treatment options include:

  • Individual therapy
    • 30-60 minute sessions with a certified mental health professional, focused on your sexually compulsive behaviors and any co-occurring disorders.
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
    • Focuses on the idea that our behaviors, emotions, and thoughts are all interrelated and works to change negative thoughts to positive thoughts and self-talk.
  • Psychodynamic therapy.
    • Built around the premise that unconscious memories and conflicts affect our behavior, Psychodynamic therapy uncovers early childhood influencers of current habits or present factors that contribute to the current sex addiction.
  • Dialectical-Behavioral Therapy (DBT).
    • Contains four components: skills training group, individual treatment, DBT phone coaching, and consultation team and these four components are designed to teach four skills: mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotion regulation.
  • Group therapy
    • Led by qualified therapists, group therapy is designed to replace negative and detrimental behaviors with pro-social and positive ones. It provides the addict with assurance that he or she is not alone in his or her experiences.
  • Couple’s counseling or Marriage counseling.
    • This can be very beneficial for the sex addict and his or her partner. Couple’s counseling can help to improve communication skills, trust, and healthy sexual functioning between partners.
  • 12-step recovery.
    • Sex Addicts Anonymous imitates the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous and is a group-based model focused on acknowledging one’s powerlessness and willingness to live a life free of addiction.
  • Inpatient therapy.
    • There are some inpatient recovery centers designed to treat sex and porn addiction. The patient resides at the recovery facility for the duration of treatment so that he or she can focus on the healing process without the distractions and temptations of everyday life.

To find an addiction treatment center or to find out more information about the process of treating sex and/or porn addiction, call 1-888-344-8837.

Medication: Are There Sex Addiction Drug Options?

There are currently no US Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved medications for the treatment of sex addiction.

  • Although some research has been conducted, conclusive recommendations cannot be made because of a lack of randomized controlled trials.

Sex addiction and related sexual dysfunctions frequently co-occur with conditions such as anxiety and depression and can be treated with medications such as antidepressants.

  • Antidepressants called SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) can decrease intense sexual urges and cravings that characterize sexual addictions by mitigating the brain’s response to rewarding behaviors.

If a patient doesn’t respond well to antidepressants, there are a couple of other options.

  • Naltrexone, a drug used for the treatment of alcoholism and opioid addiction, has been shown to decrease sexually compulsive behaviors.

I FOUGHT WITH KEVIN THE ENTIRE TIME REGARDING HIS HIDING HIS  PHONE, TABLET, HALF DELETED TEXTS, HE WOULD DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. ONCE HE WAS ON TOP OF ME AND WAS DELETING /READING/ THAT WAS THE DAY i WOULD FIND HIM HAVING SEX IN HIS APARTMENT ! ALWAYS LIED ABOUT WHAT HE IS DOING/ PASSWORD PROTECTED HMM. HE IS NOT IMPORTANT ! HE HAS NOTHING IN HIS PHONE , TABLET, COMPUTER , EXCEPT OTHER WOMEN OR PEOPLE! HE ALWAYS WAS CHECKING MY PHONE, SEE NONCHEATERS DO NOT REALIZE WHAT THE F— IS GOING ON UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN WITH A CHEATER!

THIS IS WHAT KEVIN SENT TO ME / THEN CAME OVER AND SAID WE WERE GETTING

MAY 2014.

 

4 Little Things Compulsive Cheaters Have In Common | SELF

 

        3. I Don’t Want To Say No Affair :

                          KEVIN COOK

KEVIN COOK ALTHOUGH NEVER MARRIED/ HE ENTERS RELATIONSHIPS WHILE HE ALREADY HAS SEVERAL GOING ON/ WILL TELL YOU HE NEVER CHEATS/ READ THIS BUT IN MY CASE IT WAS HE/ NOT DUE TO PSTD / SIMPLY ENJOYED WATCHING MY PAIN / PTSD / CHRONIC MIGRAINES/ DEPRESSION  THAT HE CREATED/ NEVER ONCE WAS HERE GENUINELY SORRY / ONLY BEYOND ENRAGED WHEN I FINALLY POSTED MY STORY!!! THE BELOW:
These affairs are committed by those have an ongoing pattern of sexual betrayal such as frequenting topless bars and/or adult bookstores, viewing pornography, compulsive masturbation, prostitution, repetitive encounters with sexual partners, and other behaviors that are destructive.  ( KEVIN HAS / DOES ALL OF THESE THINGS/ PORN/ STRIP BARS ARE A MUST/ SWINGERS / PROSTITUTES / MEN YES I SAID THAT !

This type of affair can be the most dangerous, most destructive, and most difficult for all parties to break away from.

With someone who is involved in an “I don’t want to say no” affair, there is usually a low emotional investment in that relationship. They are normally involved with others who are having a rough time and appear to be the other persons knight in shining armor. We’re talking here about the type of person who will at all cost not admit or tell the truth unless they are cornered. These cheaters hurt everyone involved and are only concerned with themselves. Theses cheaters will not just try to deny it by making it seem it is in your head, they get mentally and verbally abusive many times and make the non cheating spouse feel they are responsible for the cheating spouses behavior by blaming everything on the non cheating spouse.  Someone who is involved in an affair, who says, “I don’t want to say no” usually has some narcissistic tendencies or personality disorder, which means that they are entitled, they’ve worked so hard, they’ve done so many great things that they’re entitled to this type of affair. Again, the issue is not so much on developing a warm, intimate relationship as it is, just getting my needs met and having people serve me and be subservient to me.

The cheating spouse probably is a person wrapped up in his own ego, personal needs, and life style the narcissistic type personality.  He can rationalize the behavior and actually come to the conclusion that he is entitled to get his needs met this way. After all, he is such a magnanimous person! Bottom line: your needs and concerns to know the infidelity reasons really don’t matter! He doesn’t want to talk about them and sees absolutely no reason to get “bogged down” in what is important to you. Or with PTSD the person is consumed with their own pain and suffering trying anything to make a connection or feel something. They many times make poor decisions and do thing they normally wouldn’t do. Unlike the narcissistic, a person with PTSD even though many times follows the exact same pattern when cheating they do not get enjoyment from using others or intentionally hurting others. Their entire purpose is consumed by their needs and poor decision making.

Now, the risk you have here, if you confront your cheating spouse who’s involved in an “I don’t want to say no” affair, is that you may intensify the anger. They will tell you you are crazy, that you are a jealous person and they had to hide it from you. That you always accuse them or assume they are doing something wrong so of course they had to hide the friendship. It is not wise to confront this type of person until you have actual proof of the affair. Often, this type person will use anger to push people away. They are trying to make you feel like they are the victim. They get angry when the non cheating spouse provides proof by making it seem the non cheating spouse has no right to spy or check up on the cheating spouse actions.
The reward here is that in confronting the other person, you may find that you have a lot in common with the other person because the other person is being duped, as well. You may discover that your cheating spouse is telling the other person lies about you and telling you lies about the other person. The cheating spouse will have almost always made themselves out to be a victim of the non cheating spouse. They show no respect when telling the other person how the non cheating spouse doesn’t care about them, doesn’t take care of the cheating spouses sexual needs (almost always saying the non cheating spouses hasn’t had sex in months and everything else is more important to the non cheating spouse. The intent of this by the cheating spouse is to get the other person to feel sorry for them and wanting to take care of them unlike the mean uncaring non cheating spouse) They do nothing to cast a good light on anything about the non cheating spouse. By creating an alliance here with the other person, thecheating spouse is caught. That may be a catalyst for some type of change which will not happen until the cheating spouse is back into a corner with no way to wiggle out.
Again, confronting the other person with this knowledge, you may feel a sense of empowerment, because it’s very difficult often to feel a sense of power with person like this. This person, the cheating spouse, wants you to be powerless in his or her sight. To feel a little bit of power here, that you do have some influence, that you do have some control, that you are not subservient, can really help you move in a positive direction. If you do not let them play games and mentality and verbal abuse you.
This type of cheating spouse almost always exhibits this behavior.
Many times the non cheating spouse has already been a victim of mental and/or verbal abuse by the cheating spouse for years.This type of person may become cold and uncaring almost overnight. A narcissist no longer tells you how much he or she loves you, but instead becomes increasingly critical towards you. Suddenly a narcissist finds all sorts of flaws in your behavior and possibly also in the way you look. You start to feel increasingly unhappy and depressed, because you have no idea what you have done to deserve such treatment. You may try to please your partner and try to “make him or her love you again”, however nothing you do seems to be good enough. This is a patteren that will keep repeating itself. This is all keeping you in the narcissist control and each time they hit this phase the steaks are being raised. It many times starts out with small flirting, then the next time moves to porn and/or online cheating. They are always sorry and always promise to change but really have no intention of doing so. Every battle fought with this type of person is designed to gain a little more control and train the non cheating spouse to look past and excuse the narcissist behavior. This type of person is cruel, cold, mean, controlling, all while presenting themselves as the victim.
So long as the spouse continues to give in to this persons needs and wants they will stay and be very happy because you are meeting their needs. The moment they stop getting their needs met this person moves to the next phase without care for anyone but themselves. Sometimes these types of affairs don’t show for 10, 15, or 20 years. And it is always at a point that the non cheating spouse is at a breaking point and has a moment of being human. Many times these cheaters will admit, What I could loose never really crossed my mind. It is because they think they are entilited to have their needs met and the non cheating spouse who isn’t meeting those needs is getting what they deserve. They do not see that the non cheating spouse has nothing more to give. The non cheating spouse has almost always sacrficed their needs for years, done the bulk of the work in the relationship, kept the family afloat, all the while being viewed by the cheating spouses as at fault for everything, had their personal needs ignored by the cheating spouse, and always been made to look like a crazy or bad person to everyone else by the cheating spouse.
During this phase of not getting their needs meet this type of person may start to look for another provider of a narcissistic supply and may end up cheating or having an affair, however still keeping the current spouse “available”, in case the new relationship does not work out the way they are expecting.

When the affair starts they will test the boundaries of the non cheating spouse by lying “asking to go out with same sex co workers or friends (that are willing to cover for them)”, at first they become super nice and affectionate towards the non cheating spouse making sure it is okay for them to go out. They will say things like I wont go if you don’t want me too, or offering to help get something done the non cheating spouse has had on their to do list in exchange for getting to go out, all the while covering their tracks to make sure there is no evidence. This person will always claim they had no dishonorable intentions at first, not realizing their actions are already showing their true intent.

These affairs move very quickly usually turning sexual by the second or third meeting. The cheating spouse has no regard for the non cheating spouse nor cares what they stand to loose. All they care about is themselves and needs. Many times the cheating spouse will tell the other person they love them, talk to them all the time making the other person feel that the cheating spouse is really in love with them and many times believes that they are going to leave their horrible spouse for them, and go as far as to really believe they won’t get caught. A lot of times these people will try to say they did it for the thrill. But unlike the cheating spouse who went after the thrill of getting away with cheating by having a one night stand and was then remorseful, this type of cheating spouse gets their thrill from having multiple partners adore him. Many times they will have sex with the other person and come home right after and have sex with the non cheating spouse. They are showing their ability to get away with this behavior and not get caught. Which not only feeds their ego but ups the stakes and brings a new level of let me see if I can get away with this to the table. The course of destruction this type of person is carefully laying out is the worst and they are enjoying every moment of it. Remember this person is often getting “kicks” when he or she is thinking that two people (the current spouse and the secret lover) are “madly in love” with him/her.

The first stage of the cheating spouse is to carefully reel the other person in and make themselves out to be a victim of the non cheating spouse (which is hardly ever true). After having sex with the other person and not getting caught the next challenge begins. This involves making certain the non cheating spouse is still under the cheating spouses control. The cheating spouse becomes arrogant at this point and has to show he is control and validate his lies.  This person stops asking for permission to go with their friends. They just do it. They pick something that is very important to the non cheating spouse and are ready to blame, fault, and destroy when the non cheating spouse tries to question the cheating spouses ability to do as they please. They do not feel they owe the non cheating spouse anything and will intentionally start to pick fights to take all eyes of what they are doing. This is the discarding phase.

During the phase of discarding this type of person becomes totally indifferent to the needs and wishes of their (soon-to-be former) spouse. The cheating spouse is ready to move on after either finding another source to meet their needs or simply having drained the current source (the current spouse) dry. The current spouse no longer serves as a source of a fulfilling needs and therefore the current spouse is no longer useful for the cheating spouse. When a cheating spouse reaches this phase, there is usually no chance to reason with them because the cheating spouses believes all their own lies, normally at this point the cheating spouses is bringing in good money, and feels that they are justified in what they are doing. So they start to work on the non cheating spouse who at this point is normally working on something to make the cheating spouse happy or their life easier. The non cheating spouse has almost always become very busy and focused on what they are doing because it is for the cheating spouse. The cheating spouse will pounce on this opportunity to knock the non cheating spouse down by placing blame on whatever the non cheating spouse is working on. They will pick out and exploit all faults and shortcomings of the non cheating spouse and blame it on what is important to them. The theme always will be, because of your work we as a family aren’t getting your attention and/or time. The cheating spouse will be quick to forget that the weekend before the non cheating spouse did not work and spent the entire time with family. The cheating spouse in his mind has already decided that everything you do is bad and deals in absolutes, they never spend time with me, they never have sex with me even though that is hardly ever a true reality. It has to be this way to be able to play the victim. They will threaten to be done with marriage because other things are more important to the non cheating spouse and the non cheating spouse doesn’t care any longer. Many times the non cheating spouse will try and quit what ever behavior is upsetting the cheating spouse, this only feeds the cheating spouses ego and provids them with a transient source of meeting their needs as they feel you are now devastated after the possibility loosing them because in the cheating spouses mind you need them and can’t survive without them.

Once a spouse does something to prove to the cheating spouse he/she will do anything for them, the cheating spouse will appear to make an effort to work with the non cheating spouse while continuing on with the other person still making the non cheating spouse out to be a horrible person. The cheating spouse will also make a mends with the non cheating spouse by encouraging them to go back to the work. The cheating spouse knows how to make the non cheating spouse feel important by giving her back whatever was being worked on for the cheating spouses benefit. The problem is it is never because they care about the non cheating spouse or because they care anything about what is important to them. This is another manipulation to show control and also keep you occupied so the cheating spouse can continue with their dual affair. It also serves as an available blame in the possible grand finale the cheating spouse has carefully orchestrated. So long as the other person and the non cheating spouse are full fulling the cheating spouses needs he will continue to lie and deceive both of them. The moment one of them stops that person is discarded. But this is where the cheating spouses ego and arrogance allow them to become careless and when mistakes are made and the cheaters usually get caught.

You must remember even though it seems like these games and plans would take months to plan and act out. This type of person moves very quickly. Normally all of this has happened in a 2 – 4 week period.  The cheating spouse is now feeling very comfortable, very arrogant, and very much in control of 2 different people. They don’t think the non cheating spouse cares or is smart enough to notice the cheating spouses strange change in behavior. And the other person is still waiting for the cheating spouse to make their move and leave the non cheating spouse like they have been lead to believe. This phase normally the non cheating spouse is getting suspecious and watching with great detail every move the cheating spouse makes. They start documenting everything and may start to place restrictions on the cheating spouse. And because of that this is where the cheater will always slip up and call the spouse the other persons name, try to carry on conversations with the other person in the same room or sometimes right next to the spouse.The cheaters are blinded by arrogance and always think they won’t get caught so this is the ultimate conquest right now. Doing it right in front of the non cheating spouse.

Once they slip up they are quick and ready to discredit the non cheating spouse. They will belittle, call names, threaten, and make the non cheating spouse out to be crazy. The cheating spouse will almost always succeed at this point without hard proof. They will not admit to any wrong doings and will continue to point out every fault of the non cheating spouse to keep attention away from them. They will also play the victim role at the same time telling the non cheating spouse they know they haven’t been in love with them, that because of not enough sex the cheater isn’t important The cheater will normally have the non cheating spouse apologizing and begging them to come home by playing the victim which is only encouraging the cheater more. But this is where the non cheating spouses get smart and sneaky. They know the cheating spouse is lying but need proof, so they will go to great lengths to uncover the truth. They spy on the cheating spouses cell phone, record calls, text, locations, they will track them on the computer and install GPS in the vehicle of the cheating spouse.

The cheating spouse has no intention of ending the affair now. The stakes just went off the charts, and the cheating spouses thinks he is in complete control of everyone now. They will continue to contact the other person when the non cheating spouse leaves the room for a moment. They will appear to be not hiding things and then pounce and shred the non cheating spouse to pieces when they are investigating phones or computers. The cheater loves every moment of this. They are caught but not completely, so they can continue on with the affair and completely control the non cheating spouse. This is the biggest thrill of all and the end result is when the non cheating spouse uncovers the truth and has been blamed and abused tries to kill themselves which happens many times in this type of affair. The cheating spouse will always run to save the non cheating spouse and make all sorts of promises that the affair is over and they profess their undying love. Sadly this is another level of high and the affairs rarely end. Hopefully the non cheating spouses don’t fall for the cheaters lies, manipulation, and games when the cheater apologizes but many do.The ones who don’t fall for the shallow apologizes have a greater chance of success although not always by much.

The cheating spouse will do and say everything right while continuing to deceive the non cheating spouse. Many times the cheating spouse will be caught complaining to friends and family about being caught and the methods the non cheating spouse used. Again playing the I’m a victim role and the non cheating spouse is such a horrible person. It is always found out that the cheating spouse is angry because they can no longer contact the other person. But they always have a defense when caught. The non cheating spouse is told they are being unrealistic and mean to the cheating spouse because they are checking up on them. This is an attempt to control the non cheating spouse and make them look away so the cheater to can resume the affair. The cheater will use anything he can to shift the blame and make the non cheating spouse do everything for the cheating spouse because after all it is there fault. The cheater will only tell the non cheating spouse what he wants them to know. Until there is proof he wont admit to anything, This shows they are not sorry and do not regret what they have done. Within a week they will be back to contacting the other person and when caught say they were testing the non cheating spouse or throw a fit until the non cheating spouse complies because they are afraid of loosing the cheater.

Many times this is when an affair ends but not because the cheater wants to end the relationship. The other person normally ends it at this point because they realize they have been played. Once it is over the cheater has no choice but to return to the non cheating spouse. They will promise the world but it is a matter of time before they do it again. They don’t care or want to know how the non cheating spouse feels. If the cheater is questioned about the affair or the ,non cheater has a bad day the cheater becomes annoyed and feels like they are being tortured and made to re suffer for there mistakes.

They don’t care about the non cheating spouse what they are going through and just want it to go away without consequence. When left like this cheating will reoccur 100% of time.

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